well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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