he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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