good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
