Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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