Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
