It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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