Buhtt sex?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
