A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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