Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
