I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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