he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
