You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
