I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
