Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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