I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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