And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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