My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
