hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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