well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize