The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
