the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
