how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
