when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
