I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
