Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
