It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
