4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Pooping to opera.
Randomize