I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
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