Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
