It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
