if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
