he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
This is the high leading the old right now
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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