so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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