Christians are straight up FREAKS
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
