I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
