Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize