dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
