whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
