I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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