It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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