She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
