They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
