I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I need to calm my uterus...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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