whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
