Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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