So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
