i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
