kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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