the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
FUCK WHALES
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
