I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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