everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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