shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
