No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
love makes seman taste better
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
