i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
