I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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