Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
