he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
