I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
