you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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