I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
