hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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