So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
