She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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