I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
