This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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