Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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